Accept Your Status

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These days it’s hard to look anywhere without being reminded of romance and your single status on Facebook.  The memo is everywhere.  On TV, the internet, and even at your local mall.  And they all have the incredible ability of making singles feel uncomfortable… and sometimes worst.  The truth is that we are always under pressure to be in a relationship.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, where you live, and what you do.  It will always be there and I know I have felt the pressure before. 

My brother has been with his girlfriend for over two years now and my sister even shares an apartment with her boyfriend, so where did that leave me?  It left me having to face my mother’s curiosity on when I would committ to a relationship and bring a boy home.  She was desperate to marry me off, as if I was 35 years old living with a million cats.   She even went so far as to point out random strangers she would like me to have a future with.  (The most recent one was a cashier at Marshalls whom she compared to Antonio Banderas… just last week.)  It was hard to miss her hints and I must admit that for a while this bothered me.  I felt like whenever we would spend time together as a family my relationship status was hanging above us as a six foot tall sign bordered by neon lights.  I was embarrassed.  I honestly believed that me being single was an issue and I hated it.  I felt like I needed to change that part of me to make everything right.  To create balance in my life and in my family’s.  I thought this for a while, but I can assure you that if I still felt that way I wouldn’t be writing this.

Rather than believing that I needed to change my relationship status to feel better, I realized that I needed to accept what I can’t control and improve what I can change.  I can’t force a relationship to happen (trust me the ones that don’t happen on their own have a fast approaching expiration date, while the surprises bring you the best memories), so in the meantime I can work on myself.  I can change my own outlook on life.  My advice to all my lone wolves out there is to enjoy it.  Your single days are the best times for you to have fun, figure out what you want, and gain happiness on your own.  No matter what your situation is, you will never be content if you’re not happy with yourself first.  Stop looking for excuses to complain and simply accept your status.  It won’t change until you’re okay with whatever it is.

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About Tatiana Figueroa Ramirez

Born in Puerto Rico and raised in the mainland United States, I graduated with a B.A. in English Literature from the University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC) and am a 2016 VONA Voices Alumna. I currently perform spoken-word in the greater Washington D.C. area and have previously performed in Philadelphia, Miami, and the Dominican Republic. Most recently, I have been published in Public Pool, Spillwords, and The Acentos Review, and Here Comes Everyone: East & West Issue.

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