Monthly Archives: November 2012

Berets All Day!

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I may not be French and no I don’t live in France, but that hasn’t stopped me from loving and rocking berets.  I definitely think they’re one of the cutest accessories that can make a subtle, yet big addition to your whole outfit.  If you’re having a bad hair day, this little hat can be your savior.  If you’re having a good hair day, the beret can just accentuate your pretty locks.  Wear your hair in a side low pony tail, pig tails, a braid, curly, or straight and the beret will still work with your do.  I have a few different berets and I love them all equally.  Of course, I have the neutrals, black and grey, but I also made sure to include a pop of color, like my berry one.  It’s fall and winter is quickly approaching, so you’re going to have to keep your head warm in the windy, crisp weather, why not do it with a fashionable beret?  In my opinion, the beret is one of the best ways to get that cozy layered look.  You can wear them in the cool fall weather and those cold, snowy days, so you might as well take advantage of their versatility.  You can even wear these bad boys on warmer spring days, making them an even better investment.  Trust me, the beret is a wonderful little thing and they’re perfect for the cool November days.

The Balancing Act of Life

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One of the most difficult things a person will learn is how to perfectly divide their time in order to balance out their life.  Having good time management is a skill we all reach for, but so easily fail to achieve.  Between family, friends, school, work, and yourself, your days are booked, but how do we keep everything in check?  How can we tell if one part of our life is getting neglected of if another is receiving too much focus?  How do you know if you’re living life the right way?  Honestly, you can never know for sure, but the best way to gauge how well you’re doing on time management is to pay attention to yourself.  Are you happy?  Tired?  Incomplete?  Stressed?  Understand how you feel in order to understand what you need to devote more time to.  If you feel happy and satisfied, then chances are you’re on the right track, but, if you feel like something’s off, then you need to re-evaluate the schedule of your life.

A good place to start is with your social life.  You might feel like you’re not spending enough quality time with friends and family.  If this is the case, devote at least an hour a night for your family.  Maybe, you can have a day of the week when you just catch up and hang out with your friends, but keep in mind that you can’t neglect people.  Take turns between which friends and family you spend time with.  That way you feel more complete and nobody gets left out of your plans.  It’s been proven that time with your friends and family can make you happier, so don’t forget to make time for your loved ones.

Then again, maybe your social life was never the problem.  Maybe, you’re not feeling very productive.  If so, then focus more time on your work.  That may include studying for school, finishing reports for your boss, or maybe just getting around to actually applying for a job.  Either way you need to devote less time to lounging around and partying, but more energy and focus on what is going to secure your future.  Having fun is nice, but the whole point is to divide your time accordingly and to not neglect any part of your life.  Having a good work ethic is important, so make sure to dedicate some time to being productive.  Plus, I’m a firm believer in the idea of working hard now and having fun later.  The sooner you cross those things off of your to do list, the sooner you’ll be able to do whatever you want.

However, the most important thing to remember when managing your time is yourself.  Not only do you need to remember to feed yourself and such, but you also have to leave some “me time” for yourself.  For some, this means a warm bubble bath at the end of a long day, while, for others, it means catching up on their favorite shows.  Me time can even be as simple as practicing your favorite hobby or listening to some music.  It’s hard being you.  Friends want to go out.  Family wants to talk on the phone.  Bosses want work done.  Co-workers want to go to happy hour.  All the while, you’re still one person who needs to breathe and live a life.  So, if you’re feeling stressed, maybe it’s time to go into hibernation for a few hours.  Treat yourself once in a while because it will surely make a difference.

Remember that money is great, but don’t always choose it over lifelong memories with the people you love and vice versa.  Sometimes you need money to have a good time and to help you live a happy life  Give everything its place and don’t lose that balance because, at the end of the day, it’s your sanity you’ll be losing.

Love for Love

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People will always tell you that love is meant to be self-less.  That you should want to see the person you love happy, but, most of all, you want them to know that they’re loved.  You want them to embrace that affection they receive and feel complete as a person.  We are told this and we know this, yet we can’t help but want to be loved ourselves.  Yes, we give love, but we usually want to get love first.  Instead of looking for or wishing for someone to love, we often ask for someone to love us.  It’s selfish, which defeats the whole purpose of love.  However, this is only natural and it’s something we all need to work on.

Think about it this way, if you spend your time waiting for someone to love you, you’ll probably only find people who aren’t worth the time because who’s to say that you’re prepared to love them back?  You want to love someone who sparks that love bug in you, not someone who you care for out of some sort of sympathy.  You want to find someone who makes loving worthwhile and who makes you want to love first.  When you realize that you need to give your love in order to receive it, then the time will be right.  In the meantime, focus on the meaning of love and the fact that a relationship takes two.  You have to be willing to give love for the sheer fact of seeing that special person happy in order for that person to return that love; however, I’m not suggesting for you to love blindly.

I’m suggesting for you to love so purely that the emotion you receive in return is just as pure.  Rather than hoping to find someone who will love you, hope for someone you can inspire to love.  There are many individuals who won’t put their heart out there simply because they’re scared.  Maybe it’s your job to erase that fear.  Make them forget their scars from love and help them believe in its power again.  Bring light to their lives by showing them your own love for them, but also be aware of what kind of love they need and be willing to give it.  Find that selflessness and desire to love within yourself.  Love will surely find you then because that’s when you’ll be ready for it.

You won’t find your happy ending by only thinking about yourself because, just like how positive vibes attract each other, love attracts love.  So start wanting to give love and others will want to give it right back to you.

Incondicionalmente Boricua

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.

Claro que soy boricua

¿Y qué?

Yo bailo mi plena con orgullo

Y cocino todo lo que sea criollo.

Dame un buen son

Y no me paro de mover.

Extraño la canción de mis coquís

Y no me harto de las quenepas.

Ando descalza

Y sueño en una hamaca en la orilla.

Mi tierra es taína,

Y mi sangre es española,

Pero lo africano no se queda atrás.

Nací en esa isla

Y allí es donde morirá mi corazón.

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Unsealed Lips

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He was lying down on his bed with one arm behind his head.  He had one knee up with his weight on his left foot, while his right leg extended out to the end of the queen size mattress.  I was kneeling beside him with a pillow on my lap as I watched his fingers trace the pattern on his sheets.  His index finger followed the interlocking circles that crossed over countless lines.  Watching him seemed much more interesting than paying attention to the blue glow from the TV.  From time to time, I played with the pull strings of my hoodie and my toes curled in my black socks.  He didn’t do much except smirk and shift his glance from the lines on his sheets to my face then back to the sheets.

The anticipation was growing within me.  I couldn’t tell if these glances would stop moving and just stay on me or if his fingers would move away from the stagnant pattern toward my hands.  I wasn’t sure if he would voice what we both knew or if he would just act like nothing was going on.  I waited, letting him talk for an hour or so about his jerk of a professor and how we should go snowboarding for a weekend until the moment of silence between our words destroyed what little patience and reservations I had left.  I could no longer hold it in and I had to say what I felt.

“You know I really hate Becca for everything that she’s done,” before I even realized I was speaking, the words were out and there was no way I could pull them back into my sea of thoughts.

He looked at me and his fingers stopped moving.  This time his glance stayed on me and I was the one who was shifting focus between my pull strings and his eyes.

“Where did that come from?  Like, what do you mean?” he asked with his eyes still stuck on me.

This time there was a moment of hesitation on my part.  I was trying to gather my thoughts.  I was trying to not compromise myself or at least not sound crazy, but, again, my emotions took over and I lost control of what my lips were saying.

“Well, I mean she cheated on you and you didn’t deserve that.  You were nothing but a good boyfriend to her and while you’re handing her roses, she’s hooking up with some random guy who she probably doesn’t even talk to anymore.  It just pisses me off that she did that to you when she knew you loved her.  The least she could’ve done was break up with you before any of that happened.”

My last few words trailed off into a mumble as I started to think that I said way too much.   I was trying to figure out if I could just shut up or if it was time for me to go home, but I came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be right for me to just drop this bomb on him and then walk away, so I stayed with my feet still curled underneath me on the bed.  I was proud of myself for containing my words for the next thirty seconds, but what he said next just set off another series of thoughts that I simply could not bottle up.

He simply responded by saying “It’s whatever.  I mean I don’t really care about her anymore.”  He was now looking back down at the lines on his sheets, but his fingers weren’t moving.

“I know you don’t care about her anymore.  I’m not saying you’re still in love with the girl, but you can’t tell me that what she did didn’t hurt you.  Seriously?  You cannot tell me that you have ever been able to trust and love a girl like you did with her before she did what she did.  Even if you don’t have feelings for her anymore, what you went through with her still affects how you act now.”

“I guess, but I don’t really think about it, so I don’t really know.”

“You don’t really think about it?  Or you just don’t talk about it?”

My eyes were now looking straight at him and I don’t think I could’ve turned away even if I wanted to.  He hesitated to speak.  The struggle going on between his thoughts and feelings was all over his face.  His fingers couldn’t even correctly trace the lines on his sheets anymore and he seemed to be trying to pay attention to the muted commercials.  His silence gave me the courage to keep on talking.

“I’m not trying to upset you or bring up things from the past, but I know you’re not happy.   Whether you want to admit it or not, I know you want to find somebody who you feel you can actually commit to, but you’re scared.  She scared the hell out of you, so much that you won’t let any girl near you again.  Whenever you think you might have found the right girl, Becca just pops into your head and you start to wonder if this new girl is just gonna do the same thing to you.  And, honestly, I don’t even think you give the girls you meet a serious chance.  I think you just look at a girl and automatically assume that they’re going to cheat on you or play with you or whatever, so you just play with them until you get bored.  And I hate that she did that to you.  I hate that what she did still affects you like that because you deserve to be with someone who loves you and who wants to love you.  Someone who makes you happy and wants to see you happy.  Becca screwed you over and she screwed over the rest of us girls that have to pay for what she did to you.”

I felt that last sentence roll off of my tongue and I wanted to pull it back so bad, but it was too late.  He was already propped up on the bed focused on me.

“I agree that Becca made me lose a lot of trust in girls.  I don’t think I’ve been able to blindly believe in a person like I did before I met her.  And I think it’s true what you said that I don’t take my relationships with girls seriously, but I think it’s more because I don’t think they take me seriously.  I don’t think the girls I’ve dated after Becca have proven to me that they deserve my respect, which is why I don’t care about them.  I could care less about how they feel if I don’t call them or if I don’t take them out on dates because, if they’re not putting in any real effort to be my girlfriend, I shouldn’t go out of my way to be a good boyfriend to them.  You know what I’m saying?”

I nodded my head in agreement.  At this point, all I could do was listen to what he had to say.  I had never heard him express himself so much about his relationships and I wasn’t about to jeopardize that.  I had to let him keep talking.

“And, you know, I don’t think it’s true what you said about me pushing away all the girls I care about and you of all people should know that because you know that you’re the girl I respect the most and the only girl I care about.  You’re the only person who I will always text back, no matter what.  The only person who I will stay up for, even if we’re just watching TV or talking on the phone or doing whatever.  You’re the only girl who has been able to make me feel nothing for Becca and that whole situation.  I swear to you, if you hit me up in the middle of the night saying I need you for whatever reason I would be wherever you were in a heartbeat.  You wouldn’t even have to ask me twice.

“And if I never said any of this before it’s because I don’t want to lose you.  I don’t want to tell you that I’m head over heels for you and then you not feel the same way and then have our whole friendship get awkward, but I feel like you were straight up with me just now and you showed me that you care about me enough to say something about it, so the least I can do is be honest with you, too.  So right now, I’m telling you that I want to be with you… and I don’t mean like how I was with those other girls.  I want you to be my girlfriend and I want to take care of you and I want to make you happy because you make me happy and I just want to love you.”

As he spoke, I couldn’t help but smile and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and my heart pounding faster.  I was definitely grateful for the poor lighting in his room right now.  My stomach tickled with a mix of astonishment and excitement, while his arms were flying all over the place with every word that he was trying to get me to understand.

At the end of it all, he let out a silent sigh as if he was literally relieved to have said everything he had been feeling for so long.  With the sigh he looked down into nothing, but then looked up at me almost immediately like a child waiting for his punishment.  For once, I was at a loss for words.  There were no thoughts running out of my mouth and no emotions jumping through my voice, but I had to respond to him.  I couldn’t just leave him hanging.  If I did, he might get the impression that I didn’t feel the same way and just when I thought my emotions left me on my own, they took the reins and answered for me.

My hands moved closer to his and they found their way up his arms and around his neck.  My legs scooted toward him until there was nowhere else for me to go.  His arms wrapped around me, welcoming me onto his lap.  Our eyes stayed locked and a smile flashed across his face just before my lips finally gave my silent response.  Apparently, he liked my answer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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First and foremost, I want to wish everyone reading this a very Happy Thanksgiving.  I hope that you all will be able to spend today with the people you love most and be able to eat a feast of food!  If anything, I hope today is a good day for you all.

Second, I would like to express to you all my gratitude and I encourage you all to do the same.  You never know which opportunity will be your last opportunity to let those you care about most how you feel, so make each chance you get count.

Above all things, I am grateful for my family.  I have two parents and two siblings who love me and who have supported me throughout many difficult times in my life.  Without them, I wouldn’t have grown into the person that I am today and, thanks to them, I have plenty of beautiful memories to look back on.  I’m sure there are many more to come and that our time together will only get better.  Then, there’s my extended family, who, in some cases, are more like another part of my core.  My grandparents, my second mommy, and several of my cousins (you all know who you are) have certainly proven that they will always be there for me, which is something that not everyone can say, while I have the blessing of sharing special bonds with each one of them.  In some of these cases, these more distant relatives act more like my siblings and parents, which I will always be thankful for.  Along the way, I’ve picked up a few new relatives who may not be blood, but their love is stronger than you can ever imagine.  I may not have been born with these certain people in my life, but I’m glad to know that we’ll continue our lives as family forever.

My friends are also a huge aspect of my life that I am thankful for.  I have a best friend of almost ten years to whom I can tell pretty much anything.  She gives some great advice, make some good jokes, and she definitely let’s me be me, which is rare to find these days.  I love that girl for so many reasons and she should know that whenever she needs me I will be there for her no questions asked (trust me, she tested this the other night).  I know that not everyone can say that they have a friendship like the one I have with my boo, so I’m grateful to be able to say so, but my list of besties doesn’t end there.  Diz is my partner in crime and I probably have gone on more adventures with her alone than an entire group of people put together.  We can stay in and just watch a movie or go out looking for LMFAO, but either way we always have a good time.  My triplets and my lover are three people who are irreplaceable in my life and, if post-high school life couldn’t separate us, then I don’t know what will.  My Bubby and Krissy Tran certainly aren’t far behind in the list of girlies I love most either.  All of these chicks have been with me during some tough and complicated times, but they have always managed to help me end the night laughing, which is why I will always be grateful for their friendship, but I can’t end this friends section without a little shout out to the new ones I’ve made this year.  The friends who make me feel like we’ve known each other for way too long when it hasn’t even been a year yet.  The ones who have already brought so many headaches to our circle, but somehow manage to still stick around.  They’re there when it matters and they certainly know how to entertain.  What can I say?  My friends are a special group of people.

Besides my friends and family, I am so grateful (more than you’ll ever know kind of grateful) for the opportunities I’ve been given in my life.  As far as my education goes, I have been fortunate enough to be able to do well in school, through hard work, and to be able to go to college.  So fortunate that I’ll be graduating this May, an entire year early, which is definitely something to be thankful for, in my opinion.  Plus, there’s the job and networking opportunities that I’ve had, despite the economic struggle that so many people are facing daily.  Thankfully, I’ve never had to work in retail, but instead have been able to teach dance with my former dance teacher and former peer, who I both love very much.  I’ve been able to help my brother pursue his dreams and I’ve been able to dive into a whole other world of creativity because of it.  And I’ve been able to be a part of USHYEE.  An organization that I have grown to love by learning about and experiencing the significance it has on its community.  Through USHYEE, I’ve met high school students who brighten my day, co-workers (and now friends) who understand me, and leaders who  inspire me.  I can’t tell you how thankful I am to have said yes, when I got offered these opportunities.

On top of all this, I’m thankful to have the memories that I have created throughout my life.  The places I’ve seen, the people I’ve met, and the things that I’ve done are all experiences that are truly priceless to me.  I could not have imagined living my kind of life and I am so thankful to be able to enjoy it.

Last, but definitely not least, I am thankful for you all.  I am so grateful that you take time out of your day to read what I have to say and that you enjoy it enough to subscribe to my blog.  By doing so, you’re supporting me and you’re helping me work toward my goal of becoming an author.  I don’t have it all figured out just yet, but I’m thankful that you’re willing to join me on my journey.  I’m just like you guys who are trying to understand life, but, by reading my work, you all make me feel like I can do it.  You make me feel like I can get to my final goal, which is something I will always be thankful to you all for.

I’m thankful for the life that I live and I’m grateful for the simple fact that I can share this all with you.  Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving!