A Leap of Faith

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I’m scared to death right now.

I’m frozen.

Heights are not my forte

and I’m too high up for my liking.

I’m so high up

I can barely breathe.

I’m losing my balance up here.

I look down,

my vision blurs,

my mind races,

and I don’t know where I am anymore.

A part of me wants out.

I want to rip off the harness

and walk back down

to the ground that I know.

But another part of me

thinks I’m in too deep.

It believes

that the only thing left to do

is jump.

.

I’ve been up here before.

In fact,

I was a little higher,

but that time was different.

I didn’t have time

to think or rationalize.

I jumped so fast.

It was like I had been pushed.

That uncomfortable falling feeling

was so deep in me

that I wanted to scream and cry.

But before tears could well up in my eyes,

I was safely back down

on the ground that I know.

This time around

I’m not so sure what I’m afraid of.

I’ve gone through worst,

as some would say,

and I’m way too committed at this point.

Why turn back now?

I’ve got to close my eyes

and let go.

Let the wind guide me

and let the harness catch me.

.

Why am I so scared,

when I’ve done it before

and it wasn’t so bad?

All I need is a little push.

Just like last time.

But this time

I’ll take the leap

and push myself.

.

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About Tatiana Figueroa Ramirez

Born in Puerto Rico and raised in the mainland United States, I graduated with a B.A. in English Literature from the University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC) and am a 2016 VONA Voices Alumna. I currently perform spoken-word in the greater Washington D.C. area and have previously performed in Philadelphia, Miami, and the Dominican Republic. Most recently, I have been published in Public Pool, Spillwords, and The Acentos Review, and Here Comes Everyone: East & West Issue.

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