Tag Archives: accept

Accept the Changes

Standard

Change is natural.  We as individuals have to evolve, so don’t expect a person to be the same individual they were five years ago.  It’s unrealistic and would actually be quite worrisome, if a person lived their entire life with no growth in character.  People will always be different no matter how small the change is.  Now, I’m definitely not saying that people should become unrecognizable throughout the years, but I am suggesting that growth should be evident as time passes because, after all, that’s what living is all about.  Of course, there are parts of a person that can withstand the events of life and remain almost completely in tact.  This can be anything from a person’s humor or good heart all the way to their favorite food or home.  These kinds of things can be so engrained in the individual that they will always be true to them.  They are consistent throughout a person’s lifespan.  However, other traits are more malleable and subject to change.  As a person meets new people, lives through new experiences, and learns new things, they grow, evolve, and, hopefully, progress.  They absorb this newfound knowledge, reforming parts of themselves to adapt to the new era of their lives.  They change in order to make sense of where they are in life, in the world, and in themselves.

Change is a part of growth and, although negative change is possible, positive change is the goal.  As a person, you always want to aim for better.  You want to make sure that your live with an upward trend, not hitting your peak too early.  On that note, keep in mind that a change can be just as positive or negative as you want it to be.  If you understand the ways that something negative can better you and your life, then it may not have been such a bad thing to begin with.  It all depends on how you choose to react to your evolution.  The important part is accepting it and embracing it until the change is positive.  Also, don’t be so concerned with what others might think of your changes.  Yes, it is important to not be abrasive and careless toward the significant people in our lives and you never want to try to devalue others, but people who knew you way back when must realize that change is inevitable, while people who are just meeting you won’t even be able to tell the difference, so their opinions shouldn’t affect you in the first place.  As long as the changes made are positive and true to your character, then nothing else matters.  No one can tell you what your style is and no one can tell you what you’ve experienced either.  Change is a part of life and everyone must accept that.  You just have to make sure that this change is natural and beneficial to your life.

Advertisements

Patience: Sometimes a Curse, But Mostly a Blessing

Standard

When you’re little, you have to wait to speak.  You have to wait to have your favorite treat.  When you get older, you have to wait in line.  You have to wait at the doctor’s office.  You have to wait for everything and it is one of the most annoying things that a person will ever have to endure.  No, it’s not the worst thing.  It’s not torturous or painful, but it is absolutely, unequivocally annoying.  I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve been asked or told to be patient and, too many times, it has felt horrible; however, it is something that I have been trying to understand and I think I’m getting close to a place where moments of patience are appreciated and not dreaded.

Generally speaking, I would classify myself as a patient person.  I wait in line and, when someone is taking too long, I don’t complain about it.  I usually just accept the slow pace that the world seems to take on at random moments of the day.  I guess I accept it because, more often than not, people’s lives seem to be running at too quick a pace.  Most people are so preoccupied with being fast that nothing worthwhile actually gets taken in.  So, in a way, me being patient is my way of embracing the natural speed of life.  If people are running around 23 hours of the day, one hour when you’re asked (or in some cases forced) to be patient shouldn’t kill you.

However, with that being said, I must admit that there are many times that I find it absolutely unbearable to be patient.  Yes, I’m patient, but that’s because I have no other choice.  It’s either wait or leave and not get anything done.  Sometimes I think that time is so valuable that I can’t “waste” it by waiting for something to get accomplished, but, as much as I complain about having to be patient, I’ll still show patience and I have to recognize the importance of it.

As I mentioned earlier, patience teaches you to actually take in what’s around you.  Think about it.  If you’re speeding down the highway, the trees to your sides look like a blur.  If you slow down to see Christmas lights in your neighborhood, you can pretty much see every individual light bulb used.  By taking a moment to pause, you can see how nice of a day it is, how cute that baby is, or how good your day has been.  You having to sit in traffic for a few minutes shouldn’t cancel out how well everything else is going for you, so don’t let it.

Plus, you have to remember that having patience for the little things, like your coffee or a good parking spot, is only preparing you to have patience for the important parts of your life.  Everything has a given moment of when it should happen and how.  Sometimes you have to be patient and you can’t force something to happen, if it’s not ready to do so.  By being patient in life, you’re allowing the best of those moments to mature and when they come into existence, you’ll only be experiencing the best part of it.  You have to be willing to wait for the career opportunity of your dreams, while preparing yourself and working in the meantime.  You have to be willing to wait for your soul mate, while making yourself better every day.  You have to be willing to wait for the life you want, while enjoying what you have right now.

Being patient is about waiting for the right time to do things and not rushing what you’re experiencing at the moment.  You may not feel like your life has currently reached its peak, but you still have to be able to appreciate the great things that your life is giving you and teaching you in the present.  Patience is about knowing that better lies ahead, but accepting that there is still good now.  However, patience also entails a call to action from you.  Most people see patience as a state of stagnation, but it is more about your personal growth and your acceptance of what you have to move forward, rather than immobility and an inability to progress.

By being patient, you get to take in the present, learning from it and developing as a person from what you experience.  The patience that you demonstrate by waiting for the timing that you can’t control can be channeled into opportunities for you to work on yourself as a person.  The time you are asked to be patient can be used to work on creating positive energy, intellectual growth, and developing an understanding for what you need as a person.  If you use this extra time to make yourself better, you won’t have to wait any longer for anything.  You’ll be ready for whatever opportunities lie ahead and you’ll be sure of what to do with those special moments coming your way.

Accept Your Status

Standard

These days it’s hard to look anywhere without being reminded of romance and your single status on Facebook.  The memo is everywhere.  On TV, the internet, and even at your local mall.  And they all have the incredible ability of making singles feel uncomfortable… and sometimes worst.  The truth is that we are always under pressure to be in a relationship.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, where you live, and what you do.  It will always be there and I know I have felt the pressure before. 

My brother has been with his girlfriend for over two years now and my sister even shares an apartment with her boyfriend, so where did that leave me?  It left me having to face my mother’s curiosity on when I would committ to a relationship and bring a boy home.  She was desperate to marry me off, as if I was 35 years old living with a million cats.   She even went so far as to point out random strangers she would like me to have a future with.  (The most recent one was a cashier at Marshalls whom she compared to Antonio Banderas… just last week.)  It was hard to miss her hints and I must admit that for a while this bothered me.  I felt like whenever we would spend time together as a family my relationship status was hanging above us as a six foot tall sign bordered by neon lights.  I was embarrassed.  I honestly believed that me being single was an issue and I hated it.  I felt like I needed to change that part of me to make everything right.  To create balance in my life and in my family’s.  I thought this for a while, but I can assure you that if I still felt that way I wouldn’t be writing this.

Rather than believing that I needed to change my relationship status to feel better, I realized that I needed to accept what I can’t control and improve what I can change.  I can’t force a relationship to happen (trust me the ones that don’t happen on their own have a fast approaching expiration date, while the surprises bring you the best memories), so in the meantime I can work on myself.  I can change my own outlook on life.  My advice to all my lone wolves out there is to enjoy it.  Your single days are the best times for you to have fun, figure out what you want, and gain happiness on your own.  No matter what your situation is, you will never be content if you’re not happy with yourself first.  Stop looking for excuses to complain and simply accept your status.  It won’t change until you’re okay with whatever it is.