People say this all the time and I must admit that it really bothers me. I constantly hear it used for comedic purposes or just in casual conversations and, sure, sometimes it’s funny, but, most of the time, not so much. In my opinion, it’s thrown around too much and I don’t think people are aware of how loaded the statement “don’t judge me” really is. It says so much about yourself and it says even more about the power you subconsciously give to others. If you truly respect and love yourself enough to accept who you are as a person, you wouldn’t feel the need to say “don’t judge me” at all.
The first thing that needs to be understood is that you are going to be judged on everything you do, no matter what. The people you’re telling not to judge you may not do it (most likely because they’re your friends, but I’ll get to that in a bit), but there will always be someone around who’s close enough to judge you. You’ll be judged on what you wear, how you walk, what you say, and even on what you don’t do. Regardless of whether or not the words “don’t judge me” are spoken, you’ll still be judged. If you don’t believe me, think about how many times you think something about a person you see walking down the street. “This person is walking too slow” or “those boots are cute” are all judgments that we silently make about the people around us. Like I said, you’ll always be judged, whether you know the person or not or whether you realize it or not.
However, this isn’t as daunting as it sounds because you need to ask yourself if the person judging you matters and if their judgments should affect you or not. Nine times out of ten, the answer is no. Your family and friends know you, they love you, and they’ve accepted you for who you are. Their opinions are the ones that you really care about, but they’re not going to judge you off of your little quirks. They’re not setting out to pass judgments on you for things, that many times, are considered trivial. Usually, when you say “don’t judge me,” you’ll realize that the thought of judgment was way out of their minds and there was no need to defend yourself in the first place. Your friends and family aren’t going to be the judges of your life.
Now, the random observers are a different story. They’ll be the ones to judge you just like you judge the random people around you, but does it really matter if the girl sitting at the next table isn’t a fan of your hairstyle? No. If her opinion didn’t matter before you sat at the table, then there’s no reason for that to change now. These random observers know nothing about you, except what they see at the present moment. They don’t know you, but it’s natural to form an opinion about what we see. So if a random person only knows what they see, of course, they’re going to judge you, but you can’t really blame them for it. Most importantly, you can’t take to heart what they think of you because it’s probably not even an accurate reflection of who you truly are as a person.
I guess what I’m trying to say is to stop worrying so much about what other people think. You should do what makes you happy, when you want, and in whatever way you want. When you say “don’t judge me,” you’re making yourself feel insecure, you’re judging yourself, and you’re allowing other people to take hold of your life. You should honestly never question what feels right to you and the people who matter won’t make you question that either, so please forget about the words “don’t judge me” before you lose sight of yourself as a person.